Philophobia
by Evangeline-Black-Potter
Summary: "I think you've got a touch of philophobia, Clara." "Philophobia?" "The fear of falling in love" - Minho x Reader All Clarissa (no, that's not her real name) remembers is WCKD. Her old life fades away more every day, and when Ava Paige tells her it's her time for the Maze, she's relieved. She won't have to put up a pretence anymore, that she agrees with wha
1. Authors Note

Firstly, I'm so happy to not only be publishing this not only on Wattpad but here too! I'm not the best writer, but I do enjoy it,and hope you do too! Please review, especially with constructive criticism xx

This story will include :

\- Strong Language - e.g the fu word, etc.

\- Mature Themes - e.g violence, along with several death scenes.

\- Trigger Warnings - Past mentions of suicide attempts, and also a few tiny references to past self harm (blink and you'll miss it). From having some experiences in the subject myself, I will try to write it in the most respectful way I can, and in some points, it may be taken from my own experiences. It's in no way for some extra fillers in the book. It's a serious subject. And on that subject, if anyone wants to talk about how I handle anything in the book, please message me , and I'll try to change it xx

\- Teen pregnancy - but how needed it is in the story line will be decided later, so don't be confused if you don't see it.

Disclaimer - This is merely FanFiction , and based off the Maze Runner books by James Dashner. I only own my characters , primarily Clarissa and Leo. Full rights go to James Dashner.


	2. Chapter 1

Word Count: 1338

My name is Evangeline. I'm sixteen. My brother is Leo. He's dead. I'm part of WCKD. WCKD isn't good.

I repeat the mantra in my head, as I do every morning. I know it off by heart - and that's good because the people here seem so desperate to wrestle away my past life from me.

"Rissa?" A tired voice mumbled from the bed across from me, as I stare at the clinically white ceiling. I wonder just how everything remains so clean and polished here, when the outside is so decrepit and destroyed.

I want to correct Teresa (no, Deedee, I remember), tell her that Clarissa was just a name I was given seven years ago when I came here. When I was dragged here. But I can't force myself to. I've told her enough times now. She has bought into the WCKD stuff now. Well, clearly she has - she's an employee of theirs, higher status than me. I'm just a test subject, waiting to be taken away... today, actually. September 16th. My final hours of confinement in here, before I'm sent to a different type of... well. Prison, I'd call it.

"Are you scared?" Teresa's voice sounds, and I turn to see her leaning on her elbow, hair falling in her eyes, which are inquisitive ... and a little worried.

I shrug, wrapping my arms around my long legs, scarred from years of accidents, tripping over things. And the not so much accidental scars. Few, but there. A lingering reminder of the pain of losing all of them.

"A little. Wouldn't you be?"

But Teresa isn't disposable like I am to WCKD. She's clever, and whatever she works on with them ... they wouldn't sacrifice her to the Maze. They care if she dies.

She nods, agreeing, and her hand reaches across the gap between the two beds, to grip mine. I hold tightly onto it.

I'm more scared than I let on.

"You'll be okay, Rissa. I won't let them do anything to you." Her voice wobbles, and she sounds almost close to tears. I don't look. If I look, I'll cry too.

We both know she has no control over what they do to me. But it provides comfort to me, just a little. Someone will be watching out for me.

The watch on my wrist beeps.

Time to get up.

"I'll braid your hair, if you want?" Teresa acts almost like I'm just going on a hike or something. Not that, in a few hours, I'll forget everything.

I nod, smiling a little, at the slightly older girl.

I'm running late already, and I wish there was time for me to get a shower - I know that I'll regret it later. Or will I? I won't know there was even an opportunity for a shower. I won't know anything about this place.

I shudder. It's both a blessing, and a curse.

My hair is neatly braided, just as Teresa promised, and I stare in the small bathroom mirror. I'm no longer wearing the clinical ... well, scrubs, that I've been wearing here for the last seven years. I'm wearing a baggy T-shirt, tucked into cargo pants, and heavy boots that my feet are already sweating in. Every item of clothing is black. I wear a knife holster, which digs into my hip, though they haven't given me a actual weapon. They wouldn't dare. Not with my history.

"I'll miss you." Teresa whispers in my ear, clinging onto me tightly.

"I'll miss you too." I smell the coconut shampoo in her hair, and immediately feel safer. Teresa is one year older than me, supposedly (birthdays aren't celebrated around here, and it's hard to keep track sometimes), and ever since I've got here, a frightened little kid clutching a teddy bear, covered in blood that wasn't mine ... well, she's looked after me. I think more than she realises.

She's crying into my shoulder, me being a few inches taller than her now, and it takes all I have not to melt into a puddle of tears on the floor.

"Look after her." I smile sweetly at Tommo, and he nods, jaw clenched, like he'll break if he says anything.

I hug him next, and it's a loose hug, but I can feel his emotions - it's funny, I've always been really good at that, even when he doesn't show it. I expect it's because he and Teresa are the only teenagers I've seen in the past months. I was separated from the other test subjects after a few ... 'incidents' as Ava Paige would call them.

"Time to go, A16." The guard behind me says.

"I'll be fine." I smile shakily at the two. "I'll be with Harriet and Sonya soon-"

Teresa and Thomas can't look me in the eye as I say that, and Teresa opens her mouth to say something- but it's too late.

The guards already grabbed my arm and is matching me down yet another endless corridor.

"I can walk myself,you know." I grumble, rolling my eyes slightly.

He just glares ahead.

It doesn't escape me that he and the other guard are carrying what I think are tasers. How much of a fight do they think I will put up?

I'm tired of fighting them.

Ava Paige, the she-devil stands at the end of the hall, arms open in welcome.

"Clarissa, how lovely to see you again."

She doesn't mean it. At all. A small scar, barely visible, lies above her eyebrow, and I feel almost smug, knowing I put it there.

"You too. You must be overjoyed you're sending me to my..." Death? It's most probable. I've never seen the Maze, but I've heard whisperings. About the brutal deaths that have taken place there.

"I'm never overjoyed to send anyone in there. But don't you care that you are helping us to achieve a cure?" She's speaking in a sickly sweet tone, and her fingers brush over the deep bruise on my cheekbone. I flinch away.

"Stop with the pleasantries, Ava."

She sighs a little. "If you had only been more willing, you could have been of much greater use to us, Clarissa."

"What, instead of your guards punching bag?" Several times, the last being yesterday. I wince at the memory.

"If you had been cooperative, I wouldn't have had to use force with you Clarissa." I swore. Once. And that was my punishment. Fair.

"I am cooperating. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be right now." I gestured toward the floor, signifying that here only meant in this room. I knew well as Ava did that I would never have been able to escape the WCKD building. I'd tried.

She decides to stop the conversation.

"Well, are you ready?"

"To lose my memories of you? One hundred percent." I grin, sweetly.

She gestures through the doors, and I step through them, my heavy boots making an unholy amount of noise on the tiled floor. I suspect that they have steel bottoms.

My eyes flicker around the room, and there's several scientists waiting around, wearing the same clothes Teresa and Tommy wear.

Is this their job? I swallow almost disgust at them. They do what they have to survive, I remind myself.

I'm lead to a chair, in the middle of the room.

I don't put up a fight, as they lock my arms in restraints. I don't put up a fight as I see the ungodly long syringe of what I assume is sedative. I don't even fight when I feel it injected, and my muscles begin to deaden.

I'll see my friends soon - Harriet, Sonya.

"You've always been a troublemaker, Clarissa" Ava whispers into my ear. "Make sure you continue that behaviour. It is, after all, the only reason we are sending you in there."

My name is Evangeline. I'm sixteen. My brother is Leo. He's dead. I'm part of WCKD. WCKD isn't good.

I mustn't forget. I can't.

"Have fun in there. God knows you deserve everything they might do." Her voice is spiteful, poison.

I don't have time, or energy to question what she means.

WCKD isn't good.

Everything goes black.


	3. Chapter 2

"Someone help me!" I scream, pounding my fists on the walls - is that the correct word? They're more like metal grates- the smell of rust and blood filling my nose. I know it's my own, because I can feel it on my knuckles, my hands, leaking from the broken skin that I've punched away on the grates.

How long have I been in this... elevator? It must be, it's moving, creaking and squeaking, making me feel as if it will snap and fall into the chasm underneath me any second. Would that be welcomed? At least then, my fate would be determined.

Time isn't a great concept here. With the adrenaline, and fear filling me, I could have been here for a minute or an hour. Ever since I woke up. My lips are dry and cracked, like I've been in a desert for many days, without water, and my voice sounds hoarse as I cry out. Anyone. I can't be the only one around here.

Who put me here? Why am I here? And who is me, because I sure as hell cant remember a single thing about myself. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I'm out of breath, a certain type of pain in my chest that feels so familiar, yet foreign, but still, I kick and punch at the walls, as if they will open, and I'll get my memories back.

"Someone let me out of here! Please, please!" I'm begging, and that feels unnatural, but any strong person would break in here. I feel like a feral cat locked in, and I would imagine at this point, I have an appearance not dissimilar to one, eyes probably wide, hair a mess... not that I have any clue what I look like.

I have a feeling in my chest that's telling me that I shouldn't be as scared as I am.

It'll be okay. A voice in my head soothes. A boy's voice, one I recognise, but at the same time, not one I know. It calms me, and I slump to the floor, cradling my head in my hands, trying not to bash into the crates that are also contained in this tiny elevator.

Great. Not only do I seem to have bloody amnesia, but I'm also listening to voices in my head.

The movement, the creaking, stops suddenly, and I jerk my head up. A tiny crack of light, snakes through the roof of the elevator. I must be wherever I'm supposed to be, whatever destination that is.

Should I scream for help, or...

I chew my lip, but the decision is taken out of my hands, as the roof is flung back, and my eyes are burnt with light.

"Rise and shine, greenie." A gruff voice sounds, and I clench my fists.

Who knows who these people are, who knows if they're safe... or-

I swallow. I'm frightened, almost as much as I was when I was alone in the dark.

I close my eyes for a second.

It'll be okay, I swear. That damn voice. Who is -

The elevator moved suddenly, along with a thump that alerted me to someone else's presence.

I blink, open my wide eyes.

There's a boy in front of me, tall (or am I short?), with dark skin, and eyes that don't show any warmth. More... confusion? Is that the emotion? I can't seem to figure him out.

"Well. Shuck." He says quietly, looking at me, curled up into myself on the ground.

Shuck? Greenie? Who are these people? Have I forgotten slang, or is this a whole new thing for me?

"Who are you?" I say, wrinkling my eyebrows, looking at him almost aggressively. I'm not going to show myself as weak until I know what I'm dealing with here.

He pauses, for a minute.

I hear voices above me, but from my position on the ground, I can't see them.

"Where's the new shank then, Alby?" I hear a call.

I tilt my head. The boy must be named Alby.

"Alby?" I hear another voice.

He clears his voice.

"Well, shuck, it's a girl." He says, but it seems to be loud enough to be heard above us.

Immediately, there's a chorus of voices, elated and confused.


	4. Chapter 3

"A girl?!" I hear one voice exclaim, slightly louder above the rest.

Yes, I want to mock. A girl, what, never heard of one before?

The words die in my mouth. I don't need to anger these people. I need allies, so I can figure out whatever the fuck is going on.

There's another thump, and I don't need to look up to see that another person has joined me and... Alby? in the elevator.

"Shuck." The new person, another boy, murmurs.

"What the hell are we going to do, Newt." Alby mumbles. "They'll eat her alive up there." He sounds stressed but I'm more focused on his words. What in the hell does he mean, eat me alive? What's so different about me? Do I have another eye or something?

I'm almost tempted to check but decide that poking at my face may make me look a bit... unhinged?

"We'll call a gathering. It'll be fine, mate." The other one, Newt says, optimistically. I notice he's leaning heavily on one leg, like he'd be in pain if he stood normally.

I hear a huff, slightly relieved, and a gruff "Yeah, Okay."

I look up to see the newcomer crouching in front of me, holding out a hand.

"Newt." He grins, easily, but I still see a bit of confusion in his eyes. Almost distrust.

I look at his hand, showing the same distrust in my own features, as I look away, bringing my knees up close to my chest, tightening my arms around them.

"I get that you're freaked out, but it's okay, you're safe here, greenie."

"Really?" I tilt my head, speaking sarcastically. "I think your friend would beg to differ. Eaten alive ring a bell?"

His face twists a little.

"We won't let them hurt you shank, not that most of them would."

I hear more voices up above us.

"Is she fit, Newt?"

"A shucking girl."

"I call dibs!"

Calm down... The voice says again - the boys voice. God, who is it?

"Slim it shanks!" Alby barks up, eyes flickering to me. I can tell he's their leader, from his tone, from the way they quieten almost immediately.

I eye him with begrudging respect, at least a little.

Newts eyes are focused on my hands, and when I look down, it's apparent why.

The skin on my knuckles is torn, almost showing the bone, chipped away on the rusty grates. I wince, and look away from it. I've realised suddenly that I'm like an animal - caging me up won't do anyone any good. Least of all me.

"C'mon, greenie. Let's get you out of here." Newts voice is gentle, and almost reminds me of someone - who, I don't know. Alby has stepped back, and I see the contrasting differences between them. Newt has a quiet authority, and clearly, is given full control by Alby when there's someone like me. Terrified. I don't think Alby's particularly one to coddle people.

Newt holds out his hand, and tentatively I take it, allowing him to pull me up. I wince as his calloused fingers brush the open skin.

"We'll get you to the med-jacks for that." He winced, gesturing toward the gaping, albeit small, wounds on my hands. "Don't suppose you remember how you got them?"

I shrugged a little.

"I got scared ." My voice was firm. It was all I'd say on the matter.

He nodded a little.

"I think we all got a little bit freaked out in the Box on the way here."

I tilt my head. That means everyone here has gone through the same thing as me. Can they remember anything though?

I want to ask, but Newts already reaching up to the top of the box, pulling himself out.

Alby's already gone. Huh, I didn't even notice. The dude really is quiet.

Several people offer hands to help me out, but a few of those are accompanied with leering stares

I ignore all of them - even Newt, who I already trust a little- and stretch as far as I can, wrapping my fingers around the edge, and put my muscles to the test, as I too, climb out. Huh. I let out a small exhale of relief. It wouldn't be good to fail and show myself as weak.

"So the She-Bean is fit."

"I already called dibs, Win-"

I hear voices around me, as I stand up, brushing myself off. And then I look around. No, not at my environment.

The people.

I feel my skin pale, and hands begin to tremble.

They're all teenagers, like Newt and Alby. Like me. But that's not the bad part. It's the fact that, apart from me, I can't see a single girl.

Not one.

And then, stepping back a little from the crowd, I glance around me. There will be girls. Somewhere. Surely. Please.

But all I see makes me even more anxious.

I'm in a green expanse, of maybe three or four football fields. I don't care about that. I care about the walls that surround me. I care about feeling like an animal in a zoo - the boys looking at me like I'm a piece of meat , being trapped here. I blink - look for an exit, any exit.

I find one, a gap in the walls, one I think I could get to if I ran fast enough. But can I? I don't know how powerful I am physically.

Try, come on. The boy in my head (does that make me sound deranged?) eggs on.

Why am I taking advice from a voice of someone I don't know? But I do know, I remind myself. At some point, I knew this person. He must have been important enough to stick in my mind.

I take a deep breath.

And I run.


	5. Chapter 4

I run, and my legs must be longer than I expected, because I take greater strides than I first thought, and my breathing is regular, not coming in short gasps. Yet. There's a certain tightness in my chest that I don't like the feel of. Perhaps I was a runner or something, before I came here. Or maybe it is just adrenaline, pumping through my veins.

"Greenie!"

"Get the shuck back here!"

"You'll shucking die out there!"

I'll die out there? I'll die here!

I hear a few catcalls behind me, but I shrug them off as much as the warnings.

Why should I care what these people say to me? Why should I trust them?

I'm almost there. Outside these walls, there's got to be someone- someone who can tell me what the fuck is going on. I feel like I've been dropped in some strange cult.

I'm nearing the exit (or entrance?), and I can hear people sprinting to catch up to me. It's too late now. There's no way. I've had too much of a head start now.

There's a smug, vindictive grin on my features.

My hair hits my back as I run, tied back, I'm guessing, though I can't remember.

Remembering hair isn't high on my priorities.

Almost there, almost there, almost-

There's people running in here, and the shock of that almost halts me.

It's fine, dodge them.

I can, I'm sure. There's only a few.

They look shocked. Because I'm a girl, or because I'm sprinting full force at them?

"Shucking stop greenie! The doors shut soon!" I hear a voice - Newts. He sounds genuinely panicked, and as I dodge past the boys at the doors, I glance back, to see how much space is between me and my ... captors?

It's a mistake, I'll realise that later.

Or soon, as I run straight into something - or someone.

"Easy there greenie." His voice is a bit strained, like he's out of breath, and I make to move past him, but too late. His arms wrap around my body, and very easily lifts me over his shoulder.

I hit him with my fists, not caring if I hurt him.

"Let. Me. Go." I scream, struggling like a fish trying to get out of a net.

"I can't do that." His voice is full of laughter. Like he finds it funny. He doesn't seem particularly shocked I'm a girl, like every other god damn person here.

I kick him, with what I assume is boots on my feet, and still try to pull away. Either I am very weak, or he is very strong. Perhaps a mixture.

He's carrying me away from the walls, and every second, I see my salvation growing further away.

"Fucking let me go!" I exclaim. I won't give up. Not till I'm out of these walls.

"You've got a hell of a mouth on you, dont you shank?" He laughs, and his laugh ... calms me? Like I've heard it before. I shrug it off. I don't know this boy. I can't. He's part of whatever weird ass cult they have going on here.

"Let me go now!"

"Shucking hell, Newt, whats going on." The boy who's refusing to let me go, laughs to Newt, who I'm assuming caught up.

"A girl came up in the box-"

"A girl who really wants to be fucking let go." I exclaim, but decide to stop hitting the boy, half for my own dignity, half because I'm quickly losing my own energy. And I might need it.

"Feisty she-bean, ain't she?" Another voice sounds, along with catcalls and laughter.

I almost cringe.

"Right, I'm calling a gathering before the greenie runs off again." Alby speaks, irritated quite clearly.

"Minho, keep hold of her. I'm not taking any chances."

"Look can you fucking tell me where I am at least?" I spit, twisting my head to look at them.

"Welcome to the Glade, greenie.

And don't ask where that is, because truthfully, I don't know either."

"How can you-"

"Stop with the questions, greenie."

I'm sat, in a chair, in the middle of a semi circle of a dozen boys. I bounce my knee, restless, but don't dare to run again. As one boy said on the way here - was it Alby or Newt? If I run again, I'll end up in the Slammer. I don't exactly know what it is, but if it's anything like that elevator, I'd rather bide my time till I figure out exactly how I escape.

"I'm calling this Gathering, to discuss the new greenie here." Alby says gruffly. It sounds so official, just for a dozen boys who are all scruffy and dirty, and almost look like they've crawled out of Lord of the Flies.

"We need to sort out some rules, which you lot can relay to whoever you work with."

"Rules like what?" A rather slimy looking boy speaks, with what is 100% blood streaked on his tee shirt.

"Firstly, I vote that there's no relationships with new greenie. That means no touching, no kissing-" Newt begins.

There's various mumbles around the hall, of contempt, but I begin to feel just the slightest bit safer.

"I second that." Alby points out. "I'm not having you lot all over her. Anyone who doesn't listen to that get the Slammer... or gets banished."

Banished? Banished where?

"She's going to pull her weight though, right?" Another boy pipes up. "Like just because she's a girl-"

"I'm perfectly capable of doing what ever you do-" I snipe at the boy, crossing my arms defensively.

"And you will." Alby points out.

We'll see about that. Who said I was staying?

"All rules apply to her too." Another boy points out, and Alby nods in agreement.

"Which means she gets in the Slammer, for trying to get in the Maze. And for beating up Minho" The boy from before, who I glared at, says. He snorts, looking at said boy, who's leaning back in his chair, looking more bored than if he was watching paint dry.

"Do you want me to re-break that nose for you, Winston?" He says dryly.

Oh great. They're violent too.

"Minho, enough." Alby speaks, rolling his eyes slightly.

"I-" I begin to speak. I'm not going in the Slammer. Whatever the fuck that is.

"I'm not treating her differently, I've already said that. Greenie gets put in the Slammer for a few hours, until we decide what the hell to do with her."

I grit my teeth a little - I'm getting put god knows where because I broke a rule that I didn't know existed? Seems real fair. I'm about to open my mouth and protest it, before just deciding to leave it. What's the point of getting more punishment? Anyway - I have a begrudging respect for Alby now. After he's set out these rules...

I feel just a little better.

There's murmurs of agreement.

"I vote Greenie sleeps in the Homestead. Then we can keep an eye on her." Slimy boy says, and the way he says it makes my skin crawl.

"That's actually a decent idea, Winst, if you didn't say it like an absolute shuck." Minho pipes up, glancing at Alby.

Already, I can see a mutual respect between the two, and I have a feeling that although Minho has been exceptionally quiet this entire time, he's pretty powerful around here. He glances at me, eyes flickering over my sore face - why it's sore, I don't know- before looking back to Alby.

Alby agrees. "We'll have to move some stuff around, maybe put everything in only one storage room. We'll figure it out tonight."

Minho stretches, yawns a bit, and my eyes glance at the clear muscles in his arms.

I wonder what he does around here. It doesn't seem exactly like the place to have a gym installed. Or a place to have any modern commodities at all, actually.

"Is that all, Alby?" Newts voice permeates my voice.

The leader glances around the boys (are they all leaders too? Is it like different groups here?) and nods.

"Yeah. Take Green Bean to the Slammer, Newt."

A/N : Who's voice do you think she is hearing? Comment below?


	6. Chapter 5

Newt keeps a tight hold on my arm, as he walks me through the Glade.He's limping slightly, and there's bandages around one of his legs. I don't have time to muse in it now, I remind myself. I need to case this place to find an exit. I feel almost as if I am a prisoner being led to my death, though I can't blame him for not letting me go. He and I both know that the second he lets me go, I'll run again. And again, and again, I vow to myself. I'll never stop running, until I get away.

My eyes scan the walls, twisting my head around in the opposite direction to see the other side of the ... Glade?

"You going to accept there's no way out yet, Greenbean?" He chuckles slightly, leading me around the side of one of the only buildings here. On the front of it, a crooked sign, in spidery writing, reads Homestead.

"The gaps in the walls say otherwise." I shrug, raising an eyebrow at him.

His eyes skip over the walls.

"Trust me." He begins, quietly. "You don't want to go out there. You're safer in here."

I blink. He sounds like he's telling the truth.

"Of course you'd say that."

He shrugs. "Don't believe me then, Greenie. But if anyone catches you near those walls, or in the shuck maze, I have a feeling Alby'll banish you himself."

"Why would I be scared of that? I don't want to be here."

"Do you think any of us wanna be here? Because I sure don't. Trust me, Greenie. The Maze is way more dangerous than us."

Maze. That can't be true - we can't be in the middle of a maze. No one sane would dump a bunch of teenagers in the middle of a maze. Surely?

I stay quiet.

"That bruise you've got covering your whole shucking face looks painful." Newt comments, as we near what I assume is the Slammer. A few boys walk past, and wolf whistle. I flinch slightly, and it doesn't escape Newts notice.

"Slim it, shanks." He speaks with authority.

I use my free hand to gently touch my sore face, and now I realise that a bruise is the source of the pain.

"I don't remember how I got it." I say boldly. "I don't remember much of anything." I say it matter of fact, but in reality... I want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Crying never gets us anywhere. You have to be strong remember, for when I'm not there?

When who isn't there?

"None of us remember anything before here. Doubt we ever will."

I blinked. "It doesn't come back? Ever? What is this place?!"

We've reached the Slammer, and with a slight push from Newt, an apologetic look on his face , I'm in it, the door - made from rudimentary twigs and logs, shuts behind me.

"It's the Glade, Greenie."

It's several hours later, and I'm getting bored. I've been pacing, like a starving animal in a zoo - and now I think about it, food, that is, my stomach rumbles.

Is that their plan? Starve me to death in here?

I hear footsteps near the Slammer, and Newts voice, speaking to someone.

That boy has been say outside for however long I've been in here, and since I got bored of asking questions, and he of answering them, we've been in silence for a good hour at this point. It doesn't get past me that the only reason he's here is to stop the leering boys which I can quite clearly see over the field, coming closer.

"Go and get some lunch,Newt. Alby's making me the little she beans guard now." I can't see his face, but I would guarantee he's rolled his eyes.

Newt chuckles a little.

"Alright." He pokes his head close to the door. "See you later, she bean. Don't be beating up Minho again."

"Oh she did beat me up though." Minho says sarcastically, as Newt walks away.

Minho leans against the door, and I can still see him slightly, through the rudimentary twig and log door.

It comforts me. It shouldn't really.

I know that.

"Did you get your memories back?" I question, the words leaving my mouth before I really think of it.

"We've told you shank. This is the Glade. No, the memories never come back. I've been here for two shucking years and I can't even remember my own family."

He sounds so nonchalant about it I could almost believe he didn't care. But the slight change in tone, the shifting as he moved - Minho cared. He cared more than he was saying.

I don't know why I do it, but I reach my hand out, through the rudimentary bars, and place it on his shoulder. He flinches slightly.

"I'm sorry." I say softly.

"So you are a sensitive little she bean under all your talk." He grins, turning round, as I retract my hand with a scowl.

"God you try to be nice." I mumble,rolling my eyes.

"Niceness don't get you anywhere in here she bean."

"Stop calling me she bean ." I spit.

He has a grin on his face, taunting. "What should I call you then?"

I blink, turn away slightly.

"Don't worry. You'll get it back soon. It's the only thing they let us keep."

I should question the 'they', question everything about this glade. But I don't. I've realised quickly that the boys in here are as trapped as I am - from the way the boys who walk past the Slammer ( and oh, there's been many) look up at the Walls with - is it fear? - in their eyes.

I don't reply to Minho, merely rest my back against the door, stare the opposite direction.

A plan formulating in my mind.

Tonight. Tonight I'll get out.


	7. Chapter 6

Minho seems to have appointed himself my guard for the time being - or rather, as he said, Alby has. He's sat outside of the Slammer, picking at blades of grass, bored as hell, quick clearly.

"So. You make it seem like we're stuck in here. How can we be?"

Minho takes a few seconds before replying. "You sure do like questions, shank. And we have exits, sure. But beyond those walls? It's a maze, greenbean."

"I know, but-"

"We're in the centre of it. And we can't find the way out, greenie." My theory was correct then. Fuck.

"All mazes are escapable, aren't they?"

He shrugged. "We can have hope."

How long did he say he'd been here? Two years? Three? Who can have hope after that?

He's silent after that, for a bit.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"For someone who acts like she doesn't care, you sure say sorry enough greenbean."

I snorted. "Why would I care about you? I don't trust you, that's for sure."

"You can trust me a hell of a lot more than the shanks around here."

"Gee. Fills me with hope." I say sarcastically.

If I was looking at him, I'd probably see him rolling his eyes.

"Minho! Ya dinners out!" I hear a bellow, from the other side of the Glade.

"Oh your mummy's calling, you better go." I taunt, grinning.

He snorts a little. "Slim it shank. I was going to bring you some food back - but I guess now-"

All of a sudden, this horrendous screeching begins, and I shriek a little, instinctively covering my ears, curling into myself.

I don't move until it's stopped , some three or four minutes later.

"Calm down shank. It's just the walls."

The walls? My eyes flicker to the outside.

Sure enough, the gap in the wall, my salvation is gone.

"What-"

I turn, but Minho's already gone.

That little 'shank'.

I've been pacing my Slammer for approximately 2,567 steps by the time Minho returns, holding a sandwich, with his hair wet. That little shit abandoned me to have dinner and a shower. Both of which I would probably kill for right now.

I huff slightly, as he grins through the door.

"Miss me, shank?"

"Does Britain miss the plague?" I reply sardonically, a smile on my face.

"You wound me, greenie." He pulls a hurt face, and I laugh a little.

No. Don't trust them.

"Anyway. Alby says you can come out now. My first time in the Slammer I was in for two days, so you're lucky." He rolls his eyes, unlocking the door, that I guess if I really wanted to I could have gotten out of alone. But I had a feeling that I was safer here than there.

"Two days? What'd you do? From the looks of it, you've got plenty power around here so-"

He scoffs. "I've got no power around here shank. I'm just close with Newt and Alby. We were some of the first up here, see?"

I imagine being one of the only ones in this vast Glade, that I still don't understand. I shiver. I guess they didn't either.

"I broke Winston's nose." He amended, as I followed him to the building across the Glade, where the Gathering took place.

"Winston?"

"The one you were glaring at your whole Gathering."

I laugh a little. "Staring at me were you?"

He rolls his eyes. "You're the first girl anyone here can remember seeing. Can you blame me?" His voice was jokingly flirty.

"I'd guessed that from the shocked gasps when everyone first saw me."

"It's not that bad here, ya know, shank."

He pushes open the door of the building, and it's remarkably well constructed inside.

"It feels that way." I hum a little, climbing up the set of stairs that I have a mild fear of collapsing underneath me.

"It feels that way to everyone the first few days. You'll get used to it."

Not if I can find a way out. God, there's got to be a way. Please.

I shrug, before remembering he's in front of me, and he can't see me.

"Yeah. Hopefully."

I stare around the tiny room Minho just showed me into. It's clean, mostly, and has scratches on the floor, like boxes had been dragged around on it. There's a lantern on the windowsill that holds no glass, and a sleeping bag in the corner, on what I assume is a roll mat. On top of that, there's a rucksack.

Apart from that, the rooms empty.

"This is where you'll stay. Its not much, but it's a lot more than most shanks get. Usually only Keepers sleep in the Homestead." Minho explains, almost awkwardly, and I get the sense he usually doesn't show people around. I wonder why he's showing me then? But I have the feeling that people respect Newt, Alby and Minho. Respect them enough to leave me alone.

"I'll be safe in here?" I hate sounding weak. But the words leave my lips before I get the chance to stop them.

"Yeah. Course you will be, greenie." He laughs easily, and I sit on the sleeping bag, tired and exhausted suddenly.

"Wouldn't be getting so sleepy now, she-bean there's still the bonfire yet."

"Bonfire?"

"Have one every month. Every time there's a new greenie."

I mentally collect that information, storing it for later.

"You might want to get a shower before then. You stink , shank." He grins.

"You didn't smell so much so much better when you kidnapped me before."

"I think kidnapped's a strong word."

"Hmm. Held against will?"

"You're annoying greenie, I'll give ya that."

I smile smugly. "I know."

He laughs, loudly, as I turn to the back pack.

"You're lucky. We usually get cast offs when we come up in the box. Though I guess that girl greenies need different stuff."

I chuckle dryly. "I doubt I would fit into any of your clothes. I may be taller than some of the kids here, but they're still bigger." I muse, pulling out the contents of the back pack. I hear Minho coming further into the room, inspecting it too. He's probably just checking I wasn't given any weapons. I don't blame him.

There's not much, but still. I'm grateful. Underwear, a change of clothes (shorts this time, instead of cargo pants), a stick of deodorant (I guarantee this will be a life saver), some hair ties, a small first aid kit looking bag, some tampons (I'm hoping these get refreshed every month, or I'll be walking around the Glade covered in blood) and a small bottle of pills.

"What're they?" I jump slightly. I'd almost forgotten he was here.

He's pointing to the pills in my hand, eyebrows furrowed. I guess

It's not common for people to be sent up with pills.

I look closely at the label, and my cheeks stain red a little. Why am I not surprised?

"Birth control." I say, trying to look a little less embarrassed. Do the creators here just think that I'll sleep with everyone? I roll my eyes inwardly. Fat chance.

He coughs awkwardly, and I smirk a little.

"What, embarrassed Minho?"

He laughs scornfully, but red dusts his cheeks.

"Slim it, she bean. Thought you were getting a shower?"

A/N: I hope you're enjoying the story! I'm enjoying writing it! Please vote / comment if you like it.


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